The Night of Regret
by rhead-a-holyc
Summary: If there was one night Sirius regretted, it was this one. Mentions of canon character death. For Charlie'sAngel713


**For Charlie'sAngel713. I hope you like it!**

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It was difficult to wait for the cover of darkness to visit the Potter cottage. He didn't understand the sense of unease he felt; the sense of urgency that filled his body with impatient energy and the need to do _something_ , anything more than he was currently doing.

The other Aurors had jokingly told him that he was missing his twin's presence in the Auror force. James had been forced to resign to go into hiding, and while Sirius _did_ miss his presence (who else would dare prank Moody with him?) he knew that James' absence wasn't the cause of his restlessness.

That had been yesterday when he slipped the Cheering Potion into the Auror coffee supply and had the pleasure of watching both Frank and Kingsley burst into an off-key duet during lunch. Sirius had been dying to show James the memory, but had planned it with James two night ago, and visiting too often made his movement suspicious.

Sirius would never lead the Death Eaters to James, Lily, and his godson. He wouldn't even risk the possibility of it, and tried to be as erratic in visiting them as he possibly could. But he missed being able to randomly pop by like he used to in the weeks after Harry was born.

The fears and anxiety he had tried unsuccessfully to deal with during the day came crashing back when he saw the crowd gathered around a house that wasn't supposed to be visible to them. A few of them glanced his way at the sound of his motorbike, obviously not recognising him. He pushed his way through the crowd.

He ignored their whispers, and rumours. Whatever they'd dreamt up would be nothing like the reality. They didn't know, they didn't care. The furthest their curiosity would venture would be to wonder what kind of people lived there, and what they had done to be attacked as they had. They would never venture beyond the realm of their 'possible' and the Ministry would probably release the information of a 'burglary gone wrong' to appease the Muggles' curiosity.

Sirius was glad the Muggle police hadn't arrived yet, and quickly cast both Muggle-Repellent and Notice-Me-Not wards around the destroyed building, ensuring the muggles would soon disperse. That was one of the first things they were taught as Aurors, so that the situation was more easily managed by the magicals without the muggles interfering. He knew that the Order and Ministry Aurors would arrive soon, but he wanted, no _needed_ , to know if anyone was left. If any of them had managed to survive You-Know-Who's attack.

It was James that he saw first. His body was crumpled against the far end of the living room. It was clear that he had sent Lily upstairs and attempted to guard the staircase. Sirius's hands shook wildly as he reached out to search for a pulse. Even if James had one, Sirius didn't think he would have been able to feel it with how rapidly his own pulse beat against his chest. But James's warmth was fading, and there was no question of his lack of life.

Sirius wanted to stay there and mourn for the man that may as well have been his brother, but he couldn't. His godson was up there somewhere; dead or alive, he had yet to find out. He knew the arriving Aurors would tell him off if he moved the body, so he unwillingly left James lying in the awkward angle he had found him in to climb the stairs.

The was no doubt which room Lily had decided to hide in, not that Sirius believed that Lily would run anywhere but to Harry. They hadn't thought to plan for the possibility of being betrayed. Sirius growled at the thought of it, of _Peter_ betraying them. They had all mistakenly believed the traitor to be Remus, and Sirius knew that he would have to apologise to the werewolf the next time he saw him.

The air grew thick and heavy the higher he climbed, and the sickly weight of Dark Magic clung to his skin. Fearing the worst, Sirius stepped over the clinging remains of the door to Harry's nursery and looked around. His eyes snapped up at the sound of sniffling, and something like relief filled him as he caught sight of teary green eyes.

Carefully avoiding the pile of robes on the floor, Sirius quickly went to pick Harry up, quietening his cries with meaningless babble. Lily lay near the cot. Her unmoving chest told him all he needed to know, and Sirius could feel his eyes begin to sting. He approached her body anyway, wishing things could be different as he silently said his goodbye.

This was his fault. He had convinced James that Peter was the better option, that no one would ever suspect _Peter_. The thought that Peter would willingly pass on the information hadn't crossed their minds. Now Harry was an orphan, barely a year old and already alone.

It angered him. They had trusted Peter. James and Lily had trusted Peter with their lives and the life of their son, and Peter didn't hesitate to betray that trust. Sirius didn't care about the reason. Whatever half-assed excuse Peter thought of this time, Sirius would accept it. He couldn't. Not when Peter had risked something so important.

Wary of the possibility of the house being unstable, Sirius carefully made his way down the stairs and out of the house. The chilly air greeted him, together with the towering form of Hagrid, who looked torn between waiting outside the house and rushing in himself.

"Harry's alive?" Hagrid asked in wonder. His huge form bent over to stare at Harry, who had finally quietened down to stare curiously at the half-giant.

Sirius replied with a grim smile. "It would probably be best for Dumbledore to check him over. I don't know what happened in there, but there was heavy dark magic in Harry's nursery and Dumbledore will be the best person to make sure Harry's healthy and well."

"James? Lily?" The hope in Hagrid's voice made his throat sting, and his anger grow. If only he hadn't insisted on Peter. If only _he_ had agreed to be the Secret Keeper. Harry would still have parents, even if that meant he would end up losing a godfather. Sirius shook his head, certain that his voice would break if he tried to speak. He didn't want to hear the words uttered out loud. They weren't real while they were contained within his mind, and Sirius wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible.

Sirius held Harry out to Hagrid, knowing that he couldn't take Harry with him when he went to find Peter. He didn't know if Peter somehow held a grudge against James or Lily, but he wasn't about to risk Harry's life because he wanted a spot of revenge. "Take him to Dumbledore. Dumbledore will know what to do."

Hagrid floundered for a moment, unwilling to take Harry. Or perhaps he was scared he would somehow hurt Harry while holding him. It would be a valid excuse for anyone that wasn't Hagrid.

"You can use my motorbike. I won't be needing it now. The enchantments will adjust everything as necessary."

Hagrid nodded reluctantly, taking the keys from Sirius, before carefully holding out his arms for Sirius to place Harry within them. Harry looked tiny within Hagrid's arms, still wrapped in the blankets Lily had placed Harry in the cot with, but Sirius knew that there was no one alive who would be more careful with Harry than Hagrid. And only he would protect Harry more fiercely.

Remus too, Sirius added belatedly realising, once again, that Remus didn't know of any of this. They had kept him in the dark. There wasn't any time to inform him now. Peter could disappear at any moment. Merlin, the rat could have _already_ disappeared down some muggle sewer never to be seen again. He would be nearly indistinguishable from the other rats that lived in the filth.

But Sirius couldn't let James and Lily and _Harry_ go unavenged. Peter didn't deserve a peaceful life after what he had done. The rat deserved to die a painful death for what he had done. He deserved to be tortured, and starved, and burnt alive for what he had done.

Casting one last glance at the damaged house, Sirius was glad that the building reflected what had happened in it. The cottage was a crude reminder of what had happened there tonight, of the broken family You-Know-Who had left in his destructive wake.

He had allowed Peter to do this. They had suspected the wrong person, and James and Lily had paid the price. A particularly deep shadow covered his transformation from man to dog, and Sirius sniffed the area, searching for the familiar scent of rat.

Peter would pay the price too. Sirius would make sure of that.


End file.
